Bachelorette In 60Secs: Major Clues On Who Wins Bachelorette
We legit live for Wednesday and Thursday nights at the moment.
Last week we went back to school, this week the boys and Soph are dishing dirt at a slumber party.
Speaking of dirt… the Love Fern saga just Will. Not. End.
Rivalries emerge, and the boys separate themselves from the ‘men’.
Blake is taking too much pleasure from taking digs (yep pun intended) at Jarrod’s baron pot plant.
“And then I’ll piss in his plant AGAIN!” – Me thinks that was just Blake’s own undoing.
Enter Osher… and a single date emerges. All the originals hope Mack or Blake get a look in but, of course, overall favourite Stu gets the call up.
Sophie stood him up once on a boat date, so of course she takes him out on a schmick looking boat for their date today.
Flashback to their first meeting on screen and HANG ON! In a blink and you’ll miss it moment Soph asks Stu how many kids he has… and before he has the chance the answer she asks “four?”
They didn’t just have a fleeting flirtation. One year on she remembers exactly who he is and the number of children he has.
Please don’t let this be another Matty J / Laura waste of our time and emotions! (Sadly, we think it is).
We hate to say it but in the cutaways, Stu does seem very smitten with Sophie.
The date starts with them figuring out they have a lot of similarities…
“I might work for six weeks or two months and then I might have the rest of the year off if I want…” Sophie says.
“Yeah, same,” Stu reiterates.
Geez… Lucky for some…
And then of course seconds later there’s a pod of dolphins that just happen to be swimming by – underscored by a beautiful string and brass arrangement to set the romantic mood.
Now comes the challenge. Stu has five chances to chip a golf ball out onto a floating island. Land one and he gets a kiss.
Stu pulls out the standard golf flirting technique - standing behind her to ‘help’ her golf swing… Nothing subtle, but hey we’re on the Bachelorette people.
“Too big!” “Better than too small, maybe?” “Yeah I’ve heard that.” Sneaky double entendre for good measure.
Has Jarrod been anything other than a shade of tomato red since the first episode?
Seriously, we’re worried he’s going to bust a blood vessel…
There is legit 20 years between Stu and Apollo.
Now that Ryan has exited it is clear the producers want Blake to be the new villain. And he does it well.
It’s like Sam from last season all over again with the male bravado and self-assurance that despite not getting a single date as yet, he’s still going to win.
Meanwhile, Stu obviously knows Sophie well. They settle into the romantic portion of their single date – Sydney skyline lit up at night – and the 44-year-old goes straight for the champers.
Lucky for him it seems the bottle may have already been popped so we didn’t have that premature overflow like we did the first time they met…
HOLY CRAP! This is getting intense fast.
“Through this experience you would have ended up with someone else, I didn’t want that to happen… you may still well but at the end of the day I needed to be in that competition.”
Somehow the (retired?) lady’s man knows exactly what to say because Sophie can not even look at him. Giggle, blush, stutter.
Is this eighth grade again?
I take that back. I feel the cameras need to shut off from this serious pash.
If Stu didn’t keep nervously talking, this make out session definitely would have escalated.
One minute Sophie has perfect lipstick… the next… absolutely nudda.
It wouldn’t be Sophie Monk’s season of the Bachelorette without ugg boots and onesies.
And of course the thoughtful Apollo arrives at Sophie’s abode with a cake – not for the woman he’s trying to woo, but for Sam’s birthday. What a guy.
“I’ve probably got more onesies than I do shoes.” Sophie is a woman after our own heart!
Of course the producers put Blake, the villain, in an elephant jumpsuit. Yep. We see what they did there. That trunk.
Like seriously, can we be invited next time cos those tacos look to die for. We don’t really want to date Jarrod but if he can come cook for us, we’re all for it!
He has actually become even more intense than he was in previous episodes – wearing his matching ugg boots that he bought Sophie and himself.
Also is this the first time we’ve seen a Bachelorette drinking beer with the boys? LOVE her!
The boys are given the chance to anonymously ask any question of Sophie or the other boys… This is about to get interesting.
Who has the biggest feelings for Sophie… Wait? Macca? That came out of left field. He hasn’t even had a single date yet!?
James definitely wrote the question about being worried about getting his heart broken. Oh Jimmy!!!!! Pretty sure there’s a few ladies lining up if you don’t win!
And again Apollo reminds us that he’s the young level-headed guy with an old soul. Seriously, this guy definitely won’t be single once this show ends.
And then the love fern dilemma comes up. Anyone else sick of this? Gloves off. Blake vs Jarrod. And Sam is revelling in it all.
Sophie is just lucky that she’s been spared from all this absolute sh*t fight. *Yawn
Sneaky, sneaky. Sophie has made each of the boys’ family members send in a memento from their childhood.
And watching little Jimmy’s face when he sees his bunny rabbit – priceless. He’s the guy your mum falls in love with quicker than you do.
“Can I keep him!?”… Mate… It’s yours!
Jarrod is trying to be manly while talking about his blanky.
Meanwhile, Blake is being an absolute d*ck while Jarrod gets emotional about his family and childhood (okay sniffing the blanky was a bit weird… but still).
Apollo recognised “Barley Bunny” instantly but let’s face it… His childhood was just yesterday in comparison to the older guys…
Cue tears from Jarrod. Pushed over the edge.
Watching a man cry while in a onesie is an odd experience.
Blake has definitely had a few beverages by this stage. Is there a bit of slurring going on there?
FINALLY Mack gets some one-on-one time with Sophie – the girl he’s been crushing on for 10 years (despite only meeting her weeks ago).
If you haven’t seen a 35 year old fan girl over a celebrity, just watch this episode.
Can. Not. Even.
Was anyone else just screaming at the TV screen “KEEP IT TOGETHER MAN!!!!” For a good five minutes?
“It’s more like he won free tickets to get backstage and meet with me than a date.” No truer words have been spoken Soph.
We thought Mack was the mysterious, gentle, level-headed guy but he actually may be more into Sophie than Jarrod is, and that is just concerning.
The run home. The rose ceremony.
Spanner in the works – two go home tonight. Surely it’s between Sam, Blake and Mack? Maybe AJ as the intruder?
We wonder how many times Osher practices phrases like “Two of you WILL leave the mansion tonight”.
Jarrod legit just said “I would die for a rose”… And you know what… At this stage we wouldn’t put it past him.
James, Jarrod, Apollo, Blake (????), AJ….
Hang on! What is going on here!
LUKE IS GOING HOME? The favourite to win before the intruders entered doesn’t even make the final 7?
And Mack obviously scared her off / she didn’t want to break his heart into one million smithereens by leading him on further.
It’s starting to hit home with Sophie.
Aw, sweet, she takes Mack outside to say farewell. At least if there’s a Bardot reunion he knows who can hook him up for free tickets and merch.
What can we expect tomorrow night? Blake is good with his hands. Sophie cannot steer a boat. And one Bachy contestant may score a second single date this season.
BRING ON THURSDAY NIGHT!